Now that we have started on the project, scoping it out, defining how we approach different aspects, thinking about what all those deliverables we promised might look like, it seems daunting. Even more intimidating, is that we are both constantly finding new sources and inspirations, tools and sources. It feels like each day of effort or thinking expands the problem space, takes us further away from any goal.

Then I remember, this is what all my creative projects feel like. If we do not open ourselves to too many influences, and park ideas we came in with, we are just executing a brief. That’s not what this is about. This chaos is in fact, part of the process, and the feeling of being out of control is an understandable, emotional response to a state of confusion. As we wade through possibilities, some shine more than others. Clusters and tracks appear. We wander towards enticing possibilities that turn out to be mirages. We have to let this process work through us, without truly being in control. There will come a time when we will have to shepherd the possibilities towards something. But that time is not now. The time is for willfully getting lost, enduring the discomfort, hearing unwelcome and uncomfortable ideas from others, and letting them sit, blend, react, ferment, develop, synthesise. The part of me that hate this disorder will have to lump it while my, less dominant, wilder side, enjoys a moment of abandon. This is a time to reject focus and efficiency, and instead explore, suspend judgement, encourage mutation.